Social Media and Its Curse

Sherry Turkle, Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, tells us there's a "shift" from an analog world in which our identities are generated from within, to a digital world in which our sense of self is intimately tied to our social media presence.

But this shift to a Facebook world of incessant "friending," Professor Turkle correctly warns us, is a "seductive fantasy" which is weakening us both as individuals and as a society. The problem, she explains, is that a "capacity for solitude is what nurtures great relationships." But in today's always-on social media world, our solitude has been replaced by incessant online updates, which both weaken our sense of self and our ability to create genuine friendships.

I call this shift from the private to the public self "digital narcissism." Behind the communitarian veil of social media, we have fallen in love with ourselves. But this is a super sad love story. Because the more we self-broadcast, the emptier we become; and the emptier we become, the more we need to self-broadcast.

I have long suspected social media is slowly destroying us. I know that's nothing new to most of us, but I'm takling about US too. Me and You. I enjoy making people laugh, but I mostly enjoy sharing my spiritual journey with others. In fact that's really the only thing I care about. In saying that, I don't get to many "likes" or "comments" or "shares." I don't feel the love so to speak. Either people don't want to hear it, or other people get jealous/offeneded by the things I post. Yes, in Christian circles too! You know, "Who does he think he is?" "Is that the best he can do?" "Nobody wants to hear that." Oh, don't get all self righteous. You've done it to others too. Puposely, shunning other folks' posts? Yep. When people don't like or comment on the things we share, we get offended. That's it in a nutshell.

Crazy huh? How about posting way to much? There's no privacy left in our lives if we do that. Have you ever heard it said, "Ladies like the jerks?" Why? It's because they don't share much information or attention. People are intrigued about the inner workings and personal affairs of those they know nothing about. Strange I know, but true. Have you ever looked up to someone, and then found out their secrets? It's shocking and no matter how hard we try we just can't look at them the same. Staus update overload is similar. The more updates I see, the more desparate the person appears. They tend to lose their original appeal and the reason I wanted to get to know them in the first place.  Make sense? Unless you're really cool and everything you post is superawesome. I haven't found anyone like that yet...

I deleted my facebook account a few months ago. Honestly, I was tired of seeing the same old doom and gloom posts. Not only that, I closed the door on anything that could ever try to come between my wife and I. My wife does trust me, but having other women as friends is still a bit uncomfortable. Other than God, nothing is more important or sacred to me than my marriage. The occasional likes I did get and the periodical family nudge just wasn't enough for me to keep my account open. There are others ways of getting in contact with me. I have been much more productive, and I don't know everyone's gossip. Im free and clear of OPJ. Was it tough to kick? Yep. I was amazed at how much of a pull social media had on me.

This isn't a bash on facebook or social media. It's meant to be thought provoking. Social media has become a nuclear "marketing" explosion. It's actually pretty scary. Our need for digital confidence and approval is being exploited at an alarming rate by companies who could care less about you as an individual. What happened to just sharing something because WE wanted to? Now, we share things based on what other people will think of the post first! How much money can we make if people click here? I promised myself I wouldn't post blogs just to post blogs. I was going to have something worth while to say when I did. Take a look at the article for yourself, I've posted it below.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/30/tech/keen-technology-facebook-privacy/index.html?hpt=hp_c2









What Next?

"When a kingdom man orders his life to function personally under the lordship of Jesus Christ in his thoughts, will, actions, and prayers, that man's influence goes beyond himself and even beyond his own family. No greater challenge exists today than impacting our communities and our country for good. That involves leaving a lasting legacy."

There are very few problems in our culture today that you cannot trace directly back to the breakdown of the family. If the family functions according to the principles of the kingdom, then it follows that both the church and society function reflectively. Being a kingdom husband is a responsibility. You are to be your wife's savior, pastor, and lover. As a savior, you are someone she can cling to. Anytime, in a safe environment where she doesn't feel uncomfortable. Secondly, you are to sanctify your wife. Sanctification is the process of taking someone from where they are into what they ought to be. It is through sanctification you are able to demonstrate to your wife what it means to be covered by a kingdom man. Not a perfect man, but a kingdom man who has her best interests at heart and who loves her even to the point of sacrificing his own needs and wants to provide that love. You don't have to be a scholar as the spiritual head of your home to satisfy your wife, but you need to be intentional about leading her in spiritual growth as her pastor. So many men neglect the greatest gift they have been given in life, their wife, and they do it to their own detriment. Study her. Get to know her. Find out what motivates and inspires her. She is built to be cherished.

The way God designed a family to be led, particularly by a father, is around the table. A Jewish father raised his family around the table. The table wasn't just a place for eating. It was a place for a man to spend substantive time every day teaching, listening, knowing, and leading his family. It is there he poured value and significance into the lives of his children and wife. To many of our tables sit empty today. Men's schedules are full, women's schedules are full, and the children's schedules are full. In failing to prioritize the consistency of the family table, or daily family time wherever you choose to spend it, we have failed to lead our families well. Nothing can fill the hole made from the absence of a husband or father. The time you spend together doesn't have to be fancy, just make it a priority to be with your family. Family must come first after God. It is how He designed our lives to function. The time you spend with your family should never be second thought. Put first things first.

One of the things that we, as men, have often missed in the church in multiple ways is both experiencing and displaying God's power and blessings collectively. The church is intended to be a group of people who have been called to bring the governance of God into the relevant application and practice of humankind. One of your primary responsibilities men, is to locate a church body that you can be a part of that offers discipleship opportunities, sound teaching, and ways to serve and mentor. Church is to be the place to grow boys into men through spiritual parenting. The biblical church exists to advance God's kingdom, not just defend it. No one pays for a ticket and parking to go to a football game just to watch the huddle. The purpose of the huddle is to plan how to score. Then you have to show what you can do as a team when eleven men on the other side of the ball are daring you to go public with your private conversation. Church is the huddle men. What we do after the huddle, in our community and in our nation, reveals the true strength of our team. A community ought to be a better place than it was before, if the men in it are acting as kingdom men.

The solution to reversing the curse that plagues our society is simple: Kingdom men, man up. Only when men take their rightful place within our culture as the husbands, fathers, and citizens that they were created to be then will the atmosphere change. Men, God is watching. Some of the greatness comes in history. Most comes in eternity. Yet if you want to be great and if you want to be blessed, then take every opportunity to demonstrate that you fear God. Both with internal opportunities and external opportunities, holding Him in highest honor and esteem in every aspect of your lives. One place fearing God will take you... is experiencing the abundant life that Christ promised you. Your destiny will be full. We need kingdom men who will change the world. Before our world changes us. This is not the time for secret agent Christians, spiritual CIA representatives, or covert operatives. It is time now for kingdom men to man up. Everyone else is going public. It's time for us as kingdom men to break our huddle and go public too.

(Tony Evans-Kingdom Man)

"How blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,

Who walks in His ways.

When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands,

You will be happy and it will be well with you.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house,

Your children like olive plants around your table.

Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed

Who fears the Lord.

The Lord bless you from Zion,

And many you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

Indeed, may you see your children's children.

Peace be upon Israel!" - Psalm 128

That does it for the Kingdom Man series. Buy the book! Start a group at your church! I only took small snippets spanning over several chapters at a time. There's so much more to learn, and his personal testimonies are powerful. Let's answer the call. Man up. One of my favorite scriptures is in Acts 17, and it says, "He determined the times set before them and the exact places they should live." That applies to us. Now. For such a time as this. Let's mentor, reach out, meet a need, one person at a time. God bless.

Pursuing Destiny

"Living a successful life as a child of the King is not rocket science, men. Far too often, it seems that men view the Christian life as a passive life they must live rather than a gateway to the opportunity to conquer life's challenges. Everything that God has destined for us, He has already given you, it only needs to be activated by faith. That means stepping out and walking. God's activity in your life is always tied to your footsteps." -Tony Evans

So many men are living purposelessly when their destiny is rich with meaning and power. I wish I could shout from the highest mountaintop, "Get up men. Stop whining. Stop blaming. Stop fearing. Get up, and get what God has destined for you." The kingdom of God needs each man to get up so we can advance the kingdom together. If you want to rule your world, you have to go get the world you have been destined to rule, but you have to do it God's way. That means abiding in an intimate relationship with God through His Word so that the Holy Spirit can give and confirm God's leading and direction in your life.

Each man has a territory to claim, and each territory is different. Whatever territory He has called you to claim, He has already provided all that you need to do so. Many men fail to advance the vision because they are to busy trying to figure out how it's going to happen. God always provides for that which He purposes. When God has told you His plan, all you need to do is focus on whatever steps He is asking you to take now. Let go of the past and step out. Your priority should be to discover exactly what God's purpose is for you. Discovering your destiny is an integral part in turning it into a reality.

Many of us have been stopped from pursuing the fullness of God's purpose in our lives because of people. Maybe the people had more money and influence than you. Maybe you shrunk back because they made your life miserable or intimidated you. Keep in mind as you face the giants in your life, that people on their best day, are still just people. And God is still God. Yet we often treat people like God, and God like people, so we wind up not seeing God being God. One of the greatest experiences you can have is watching God override people. Especially those you thought couldn't be overridden. We don't disrespect or dishonor people, we simply aren't intimidated by them. There is only one God and they are not Him.

God's prescription for success is simple. Stay tied to His presence and His Word. We are to stay within the boundaries of His instruction. This is because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. The only guarantee of success is when we seek God, and do things His way. The more God is in the ruler role in your life, the more you will see Him opening doors. You will know its God because He will do things you didn't know He would do, or in a way you never expected. While His precepts and principles are predictable, His ways are not. Men, let go of the past, seize your spiritual inheritance, focus on God rather than people, and tether your decision to His Word. It is then that you will claim victory that includes living out the fullness of your destiny.

-Tony Evans (Kingdom Man)

Our whole perspective can change if we know we are in our destiny, His will. For most of us, we're on our way. The small doors and opportunities He has given us now are part of it. We have to be responsible with what He's already given us; responsibility is tied to blessing. Everyday is a new opportunity and challenge for us to conquer! One more thing and he mentioned it above. We have to let go of the past, even if it's something as simple as an agrument we had yesterday. If the past is more than that; failed relationships, past failures, addictions, whatever it may be, you still have to let it go. God is not holding  it against you, and in fact we are encouraged by Paul to let it go, "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..."

I've seen God move in the way Tony mentioned above, and there's nothing quite like it. I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. I strive to do my best in everything I do, keeping in mind that each day is an opportunity to propel me into my destiny, helps me stay focused. What is your destiny? Chances are God has already put the passion and desire in you. In conclusion, "3 fingers", that's all I know...

"No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you." -Joshua 1:5