Men of Fire and Courage...The Epilogue

I've enjoyed posting and reading the blog the last few weeks. I've left many things wide open, and well, that's sort of the point. I spent a great deal of time researching the topic of passivity, and to my amazement even though I already knew it, I was and am a passive person myself. Nowhere near as bad as I used to be though. In saying that, how many of you thought about yourself or others you know who are passive? Don't raise your hands, I can't see them. I have started to climb out of the passivity hole, and I'm well on my way to becoming a better man. There are things we can actively do to break the cycle.

The topic the first week was "thumos." Thumos is deep inside each one of us. It's what drives a man to compete, to hunt, fight, and lead. I believe that is what's missing in today's man. We've been told to be lady like and polite, and to always say yes, and whatever we do, "Don't rock the boat." "If it ain't broke don't fix it." That sort of stuff. Even though we can be completely miserable in our circumstances we'd rather just be miserable, than waste the energy trying to make it better. Should we always be aggressive and be on the offensive? Should I just tell people like it is all the time? No. We still have to respect others. What I'm referring to are times when we need to act. When we know we should act. When we have to act!

Lack of thumos disgusts more than wives, it disgusts our culture as well. I realize that's a strong statement. We can however build up and stir up our thumos. Have you seen the "Weather Man" with Nicholas Cage? The main character is a perfect example of someone who lacks fortitude. He decides to take up archery, and in fact becomes quite good at it. The sense of accomplishment and gratification not only worked inside of him, but also affected his outside life too. If we feel weak on the inside, we will be weak in everything we do. I'm not suggesting you take up archery, but do something. I enjoy sports, working out, and running. I like to shoot guns too, but I seldom have the opportunity. These activities stir up the thumos inside of us. We become confident and bold. We were built to enjoy stuff like this, it's natural.  We were also built to be strong and courageous, not doormats. Competitors, hunters, and warriors. Find something to do that will build up your manliness. It will change your life.

A friend of mine, Milt McInturff, runs a martial arts academy in Front Royal. Here's what he say about his profession. "The martial arts are NOT about fighting. Bodhidharma was a Buddhist monk who lived during the 5th/6th century, he started it all. The monastery was under constant attack from raiders and the monks could not protect themselves. All they wanted was peace. Bodhidharma came to the conclusion that to be free of violence (walk away from a fight), you must learn everything you can about it. They strengthened their bodies, became warriors and found peace through non violence. Training a student gives them an understanding of violence, human nature, and ultimately themselves." The defining characteristic of a warrior is the willingness to draw close to the enemy.

The U.S. military defines cowardice as "misbehavior before the enemy." It includes running away in the face of an enemy and willfully failing to do all within one's power to fight or defend when it's one's duty to do so. Is this good stuff or what? Again, we aren't to start kicking butt and taking names. This is a message to the mature. Think of the areas in your life that you dread facing. What really bothers you? Engage! Cultivate your "field" like a garden herb. Take the first step and remain active. I'm staring to do this and it's paying dividends. Stand up for somebody the next time you see them being treated wrong. Tell somebody when they offended you. Take an active approach in your marriage. Force a date night! Fear and passivity are our enemies and they suck the life out of us. We are now the leaders, and this is what leaders do. No matter how uncomfortable certain situations can be we must engage and fight. Otherwise, the outcome is disastrous.

"Courage is that rare moment of unity between conscience, fear, and action, when something deep within us strikes the flint of love, of honor, of duty...It is an acute awareness of danger, the sensation of fear it produces, and the will to act in spite of it. I think it is the highest quality of life attainable to human beings...I think God meant us to be courageous so that we could know better how to live, how to love what, and as, He commands us to love. It is not enough to be honest and just and demand that we be treated honestly and justly by others. We must learn to love honesty and justice for themselves, not just for their effect on our personal circumstances, but for their effect on the world, on the whole human experience." -Senator John McCain

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9


http://www.facebook.com/worldmaa 

Men of Fire and Courage III

Over the past few weeks I've been discussing "What it means to be a man." The topic arose because I realize that  real men nowadays a hard to come by. We've become very passive in most of our dealings, and it's time that we start accepting responsibility for our lives, families, and future.  I believe we have  a distorted image of what a real man is, and how he lives. I'm honored to introduce this week's guest blogger, Matthew Lohr! Matt in from the Winchester area but now lives in Bedford Pennslyvania. He's a gifted evangelist and is ordained through Agape Church, in Virginia. Here's his two cents ;)

I used to have much different thoughts about what a man is. I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, scarred knuckles and broken noses was normal to me. I joined an elite team in the United States Army and then combined discipline along with the notion that my Dad put in me, " Don't worry about how fast you can run, if you know how to fight you don't have to run. Years later and many lessons have taught me that being a man is about being a person who can be trusted and that loves his wife and children, more so with actions than words. God messed my life plan up with this evangelist thing, and I am thankful that He did! Being a man has everything to do with character and perserverance. It really does take a stronger man to walk away from a fight..( I used to say that the only men who said that were...well you get it.)

At times a man does have to fight, and that will never change. What I have come to understand is that God gave us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. He commands us to be bold and very courageous, in following His orders. I have never been more of a man than I have learned to be as I follow Jesus, forgetting about myself and focusing on helping others. This is not something I learned in college, only He can show you and cause you to be bold as a lion and yet gentle as a dove. Too sum up my short blog about what I think being a man is, you only get one shot on planet earth to be a man, I have decided to learn from the manliest man I know, King Jesus. He is the Great I AM and with His Spirit in me and His anointing on me I will continue to lead by example. I am just a man on earth with a vision and a plan to get there. Real men truly do love Jesus.

Sgt/Reverend Matthew B. Lohr

Agape Outreach

Find Matthew Lohr on Facebook. You'll be glad you did!

Men of Fire and Courage Pt. 2

I'm grateful and honored to introduce today's guest blogger. I asked several men about a month ago, to write a piece about being a man in today's society. I posed the original question, but also asked each of them to share something personal, as each brings a different perspective. This was no easy task, and finding the time to do this was and is a sacrifice. Again, I'm grateful and my hope is that the blog will  help cultivate some areas in our lives that will help us to become better fathers, husbands, and men. Sean's piece is a great introduction and really captures the thoughts I was trying to draw out of each of the guests. Without further adieu...Ladies and Gentlemen, this week's guest blogger is...Sean Merryman.

First things first, I am not a blogger. I am not adept at writing to the appeal of the masses. With that said, I hope you, the reader, are able to follow my rambling thoughts and take something from this. I am going a little out of my comfort zone in writing this, but figured what can it hurt? An old childhood friend asked for a favor after all these years, so here it goes. He wanted me to write a little aside on what I thought it meant to be a man, a man’s man even, in today’s society.  It’s not something I think often about, but it’s a simple enough idea. I think.

I think in the broader sense the idea of being a man is quite simple. Live your life in a way that would make those you care about proud. Do the things that are right and just in your heart. Work hard to provide the best life possible for your family. This last one is becoming increasingly more important to me as of late with the birth of my first child a short 6 days ago (at the time I sat typing this, obviously). To me, being a man is about being true to what you believe in. Different people will interpret that different ways, to some it will be about God. To others, it will simply mean living your life to a moral calling, be it religion or just wanting to be a decent human being for whatever reason. Unfortunately for society, not everyone is able to find something in life that makes them want to live up to a standard.

There are many things that my father’s generation, and especially my grandfather’s generation, would certainly question about MY manhood. I have absolutely no qualms about telling my newborn son I love him, no problems kissing him. I only hope these things don’t change as he gets older. I help my wife clean the house, cook, run errands, etc etc! Crazy, right? I don’t find these things emasculating or below me in the least.  I don’t think they make me less of a man. I find that my wife actually appreciates them, and in some weird exchange of token efforts, I end up feeling like more of a man when it’s all said and done (if you catch my adult drift). I am not the handiest of guys. In fact my father and brother usually end up taking over any home improvement project at my house, I end up being allowed to do nothing more than hand them tools, move ladders, go get lunch… you get the point. That one is a little rough, I will turn in a portion of my man card at this point, but only a small one.

In the short prompt Jason provided he alluded to his opinion that "In today’s society men have are encouraged to be lady like, mild, and politically correct. What happened to being a man?”. I see his point. I hadn’t considered it before, but I see his point. I am going to skip the cavemen and just go back a generation or 2, the things I mentioned earlier in this aside (blog if you must). As men, we have changed, we do things our fathers and grandfathers probably wouldn’t have willingly done. On the flip side, the women in our lives are doing things they wouldn’t have been doing either. Our wives are working, helping support our families, serving in the military, putting off childbirth and marriage to have a career (GASP!). Maybe, just maybe, are men and women both converging towards a middle ground for the sake of the entire family unit? Just a thought…

I think the quick and dirty gist of my rambling is that I don’t think you have to have a wind chapped face and calloused through hands to be a man. At the same time, I am not in favor  of being a pampered prima donna of a man getting manicures, plastic surgery, and whatever else you “metro-sexual” gentlemen do (I would prefer you actually say Quote/Unquote there, that’s the vibe I was going for). I don’t think the measure of being a man is necessarily tied to the principles that society associate with the term manhood. You don’t have to be a lumberjack, use saw dust for after shave, and certainly don’t need to impregnate X number of women to be a man and prove your manhood. I think the situations of every male’s life differ, and all of us are afforded the opportunity to be a man in various ways.  For some it’s stepping up and defending our country in battle, others make a difference by volunteering and doing charitable work, some simply work to provide a good life for their families, others actually are lumberjacks. In all cases if they are doing right by themselves and their families, they are men in my eyes. 

Sean is a brand new Daddy!

Be sure to check out the blog next week, as we continue this discussion, with another guest blogger.