Praying with Purpose

"If God had not spoken to me in such a powerful way, I may have given up, and the course of my life would have been altered completely. But I can say for certain that not once since then have I ever doubted His call." 

Tammy and I are currently reading Charles Stanley's new book called "The Ultimate Conversation." In the book he shares a testimony of answered prayer, which got us talking and thinking about answered prayer in our own lives. I'm not talking about dinky, mickey mouse prayers here..."Please help me, bless me, protect me, etc." I'm referring to prayers that change the course of your life, and those prayed with a passionate purpose, knowing that only God can answer them. I'm going to share the testimony from the book, and also one from my personal treasure chest. Be encouraged.

I recall a particularly difficult season during my senior year at the University of Richmond. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and I was completely miserable. It was exam week, and I had received a fifty on one test and a seventy-five on another. This was terrible, because I was a senior, and it seemed as I'd spent all this time in school just to fail. I was desperate to know God's plan and purpose for my life, but I felt as if He had completely walked out on me. At one point the pressure grew so great and my struggle so intense, I went to see my prayer partners. On my way I said, "Father, I've got to be absolutely sure of what Your will is for me. I've prayed, asked, pleaded, and fasted. I've done everything I know how to do. Please do something, my whole future is based on You. Please clarify this question in my mind and show me exactly what to do."

The Lord brought to mind something my grandfather had told me. He had gone through a similar time in his life when he was confused and seeking God's guidance about whether to preach. My grandfather didn't have an education and could barely read or write. He was feeling inadequate and doubtful about his future. Granddad said he got down on his knees and asked the Father to show him what to do. Then he got specific. He said, "Lord, if You are calling me to preach the gospel, let me see two falling stars." Sure enough, he looked up and saw two bright lights streaming across the sky. 

I thought, if Granddad asked God for something that specific and the Lord answered, then maybe He will do the same for me. After all, my grandfather never doubted that the Father had called him to preach. So I prayed, "God I know I don't have any business asking You this, but if this is Your will for my life, if this is really what You're calling me to do...please let me see two falling stars like my grandfather did." Well, a couple of evenings later, I looked up and saw two brilliant meteors shooting across the night sky at the same time. It was if the Lord said to me, "You asked Me, and I've answered your prayer." I fell on my face and thanked Him with all my heart. 

-Charles Stanley, The Ultimate Conversation (2012)

Now that is answered prayer! Several years ago I was in an awesome place with the Lord. I was set free, filled with the Holy Spirit, and burning with fire and love for Him. (My zeal outweighed my wisdom :) At the time I had no job, not even the prospect of one. I had no hope that I would ever find a job as good as I had. I knew I needed to get one soon, but I was afraid to start praying for it because I was really enjoying God moving in my life, and I thought there was a chance I could be let down. 

Long story short...I had been thinking about praying for a job for at least a month when I went to a church service and heard the pastor talk about prayer and to ask God for something big. That night I went home and was reading my Bible when all the sudden the Lord opened my eyes. (I was thinking about prayer the whole time I was reading) The scripture was in Genesis 24. Read that, if you want to learn how to pray! Abraham sent his servant to go find a wife for Isaac. The servant set out to do so, and during his travels he stopped at a well, then he prayed, “Lord, you are the God of my master Abraham. Give me success today. Be kind to my master Abraham. I’m standing beside this spring. The daughters of the people who live in the town are coming out here to get water. “I will speak to a young woman. I’ll say, ‘Please lower your jar so I can have a drink.’ Suppose she says, ‘Have a drink of water. And I’ll get some for your camels too.’ Then let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. That’s how I’ll know you have been kind to my master." 

Do you see what he did there? He got specific with the Lord. He told God, "I'll say to her, please lower your jar so I can have a drink..." Then God, if she is the one, let her say, "Have a drink of water, and I'll get some for your camels too." Sure enough, that's exactly what happened! I bet he about fell into the well after hearing that. The testimony was so powerful he told it to several people including the woman's family! God can blow our minds! So, I prayed, "Ok God. You're definitely speaking to me. Now is the time to pray and ask what I have been wanting to ask. Lord, I need a job. I'm praying for a job that is in my field, I pray that it has great benefits, working hours, not a lot of stress, and a place where I can minister to people. I pray that it would be well paying and that it would be exciting. On top of that Lord, let someone ask me about this job!"

The very next day I called up a good friend out of the blue. Not sure why, I just felt the urge to call him. We started talking,  telling each other what God was doing in our lives, and somehow that led to him asking me what I was doing for work. I told him I wasn't working but I was looking. He says, "Hey! Why don't you take my job. I'm moving in a month or so, would you be interested? I'll put in a good word for you, recommend you, etc." Sure, that sounds good. I didn't realize what was happening until I hung the phone up. My friend had told me exactly everything that I had prayed for, verbatim. Who just asks you if you need the best job you have ever had? That is God! The friend did everything he promised, wrote a letter of recommendation, got me an interview and helped me with the whole process. I didn't get the job right away, even though I knew I had it! I got a call saying they had offered it to someone else. A week after that, I was in a prayer/fasting meeting with some men from my church. About 2 hours into it, my cell phone rang..."Can you still take the job?" 

God answers prayers! If we aren't specific in our prayers then how does He get the glory? How can we know for sure that we are doing the right thing? How do we know it's Him? We get specific!

"He who comes to God must believe that He is,
 and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
-Hebrews 11:6

31 Years...The cyclone of my life.

Today, I turned 31. I honestly find it hard to believe I made it. My family has been plagued by darkness and confusion throughout my time here walking this earth. Generational curse doesn't do justice for what I've seen, heard, and experienced. I never thought I would make it to 21. Sometimes I ponder the sins of my forefathers, since the punishment is passed down to the third and fourth generation :) There's only one reason I'm here today, and that's because of my Father, who chose me from the foundation of the world, to fulfill His purpose and destiny, to be a living stone and a part of His house. To God be the glory.

My real dad committed suicide when I was 7 years old. I don't have to many memories of him, other than him telling us, (I have a brother and a sister) that he loved us all the time. I believe he did. He was 27 years old when he passed, still a young man by today's standards. My father was a single parent, a hard worker, and an alcoholic. Drugs and alcohol were rampid in most of the family, not all but most. My grandfather ended up raising me and my siblings for many years afterwards. (My dad and the grandad I'm speaking of are on two different sides of the family). He instilled my manners in me, mentored me, and genuinely loved me. He was also a godly man, but I'll refrain from saying what denonimantion.

When I turned 18 things started getting ugly within his household and between my mom and her husband. (My mom was his rebel daughter, wild and all over the place). Demons haunted my grandad and eventually talked him into taking the life of my grandmother, my uncle, and then turning the gun on himself. This devistated the family and the community. My grandad was highly respected in the community and in the church. I'll never forget the way he looked a few days before he did it...Demonic is all I can say. He was tormented big time. Most of all, I'll never forget that after my dad passed, he sat us children down and said, "Don't you ever do what your father did." Years later I heard my aunt screaming, "Don't you ever do what your grandafather did." 

I remember the day I lost my confidence and when the mental attacks started on my mind. I was a standout pitcher. I remember the coach calling for all pitchers during team tryouts, and I heard a voice say, "You can't pitch anymore. Look at these other guys. They are much better than you. You might as well give up now." Funny things is, I was better than all of them the year before. I believed my first lie and it went down hill from there. Anyway, I was about 15 when I turned my mind over and I carried that stuff with me for 24 more years. The accusations, thoughts of unworthiness, guilt, torment, etc. I couldn't get away from my past. The only way to make it stop was to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol.

I've seen my best friend die in a car crash. I was the passenger and walked away without a scratch. I've lost 2 other close friends to drugs. I've seen it tear apart my family. I know what it's like being a heroin addict. I know what it's like to be suicidal for weeks at a time, believeing it's the best way to go. It's hard to live under constant thoughts of suicide, and having no hope, zilch! You talk about miserable. I know what it's like to lose everything you have and everything you own a couple of times. I know what it's like to watch others succeed and move forward in life while your drowning in your own misery and darkness. Most importantly, I know what it's like to hit rock bottom. And I know who's there for you when it happens... But God! He's the way, the truth, and the life. Rock bottom is exactly the place God needs you to be when His other attempts to get your attention have failed, and it's unfortunately where I had to be. Nobody else will be there for you but Him.

I was living in a chaotic, dark, and nasty cyclone my whole life. I never knew left from right, the truth from a lie, or what true love and peace was. It wasn't until I was set free that I realized how much darkness and mental torment I was in. He had a call on my life throughout it all, but I was never obedient to it. God's mighty hand set me free from everything when I finally turned to Him with my whole heart. He transferred me out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of His dear Son. This is what I know now...that God called my name before the foundation of the world. My name is written in the Lamb's book of life. God has a purpose and a plan for me and He intends to see it pass! I have broken the curse, and me and my house WILL serve the Lord! I remind the enemy of that occasionally. Greater is He who is in me... Never forget what is on the inside of you, it's priceless. Never forget that the Father Himself drew you to Jesus.We are a spiritual house, with Christ as the cornerstone. The house is Zion! So, I thank the Lord today. For His yoke destroying power, the blood of Jesus which made peace with my God, and His grace and lovingkindness! To God be the glory and here's to 31 more! 

"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."

-Psalm 138:8

Drawing Near

Yesterday, I was thinking about my own personal walk with God, and how much I've grown over the last few months. I posted an article on facebook about a year ago, entitled Spiritual Rhythm, which came to mind as I was reflecting and thinking about the season. Over the next month, I want to issue a challenge to all those (5), lol, who read this blog or at least follow it, to draw closer to the Lord. We'll take a journey together with the intent of drawing closer to our Lord. I'm not looking for comments, if you'd like to share please do, but I'm expecting God to do the work inside of your hearts. There is no formula to follow here, just please read the blogs and let God speak into your life.

Ok, spiritual rhythm... As I have rethought my spiritual life from the perspective of the seasons, I have given up a myth I long cherished: the quest for balance. I wanted to find the point of perfect equipoise between work, play, family, and rest. But, as I started to see my life and faith seasonally, I saw how little the idea made sense. No season has perfect balance. It’s either too hot, or to cold, to wet or to dry, to muddy or to parched. Seasons don't call for balance...They call for RHYTHM. If my heart is in winter, it’s hardly the season to try and sow seed. Winter is good for pruning, but not for grafting. It’s good for transplanting, but not for fertilizing. Likewise spring is not the season for idleness, there is a brief window of time to ready the ground to collaborate with earth's deep stirrings. Each season requires a pace and a motion for moving through it that best matches the season’s demands. The rhythm of winter is waiting, the rhythm of spring preparing, and summer enjoying, and in fall, gathering. As we move in rhythm with each season we find Christ in the middle of it all. (Credit: Mark Buchanan)

Spiritual seasons. That's my point. The season we are in now is the time to draw close. We are about to celebrate Christmas, and enter a new year. 2012, wow. Many churches will be doing a 21 day fast to start out the New Year. Tammy and I participated last year, and it turned out to be very rewarding. I personally believe 2012 is going to be a year of great change, perhaps one that will change the course of history and life as we know it. There are many things happening and that have happened behind the scenes, and all is in place for "it" to unfold. I'm not into conspiracies, one just needs to take a glance around the world stage to understand what I'm referring to.  I'm not preaching doomsday, I'm issuing a warning. We need to allow God to speak into our lives and this is only done by drawing near. We must be strengthened, renewed, and walk out His will as best we can. Wake up, for it is high time. Think about the events of the last year, or two. Can you see how God has been trying to get your attention?

Let me share a few scriptures to get us started. Keep these in your mind over the next few weeks. Perhaps write them down and meditate on them. "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8) We have heard that many times, but let it really sink in. How do we get closer to God? We draw near, and what? He, God, draws near to us. "Seek and you shall find." "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." All we need to do is consciously, humbly, and honestly, seek Him. Put aside everything you think you know, open your heart, and allow Him to fill it. The greatest hindrance to spiritual growth is a hardened heart, one that cannot receive any new knowledge of God. There are so many people who pride themselves on a knowledge of God they simply do not possess. These tend to be those who are actually living secret lives, and have no peace. Hence, if they have the knowledge they claim to possess their life would speak for itself. You can judge a tree by it's fruit. Growing in the knowledge of God isn't for spiritual pride and ego. It's for living a life of worship and fellowship with God!

The second scripture, (first one is James) I want to share is John 4:23, "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." Again, honesty, humility, and a sincere effort to worship Him is all it takes. Let me be clear on what worship is. Worship is a lifestyle of obedience, praise, and serving the Lord in all we do. Look at the end of that verse. "They are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." Other translations elaborate a bit more, but try and wrap your mind around the fact that Holy God, Creator, is seeking you out. Last verse. John 14:21, "Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” Do I need to elaborate? That's one of my favorite scriptures and its jam packed full of power.

"This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day, and night, that you may observe to do all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." (Joshua 1:8) Ok, this is God telling us to meditate on His Word; therefore it must be pretty important to do so. Why? When we meditate on His Word we grow in knowledge, thus learning to walk in His ways, we learn to think as He thinks, and it also keeps our hearts close to His. The first step in drawing closer is to confess of any known sins, empty your heart, and ask Him to speak to you through His Word. He knows we are ignorant, so don't put on a front like you know what to ask and pray. "Lord, I don't know your Word that well, I want to draw closer, and I'm asking you to help me do so." Then begin meditating, thinking about a passage or two throughout the day. There is an application and experience that goes with each scripture and it always changes.:)  This is called revelation. In keeping with the challenge, let’s make it simple and meditate on the scriptures in the blog. If you'd like to add more that's fine too.

Finally, it’s Christmas, well almost. Pull out your Bible, and each time you do, read the story of the birth of Jesus. Luke 2 is a good one. Let us meditate on the birth of our Lord this Christmas. We can't get closer to the Father without getting closer to the Son. Merry Christmas to you all!

"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "Lord I am coming." Psalm 27:8 (NLT)

True North

Pastor said, "Life is tough. At best, life is tough."  My life seems to be busy more than anything. There is always something to do, some place to go, something to fix, birthday parties, appointments, school meetings, ministry commitments, football to watch, technology to keep up with, and work work work. I'm not complaining I'm just sayin'...sometimes I just want to take a break and do nothing. Literally nothing, just sit and stare blankly at the wall. Occasionally I wonder if I'll ever crack, and honestly I wonder if my wife will too. Three children can be a mighty big handful at times.

I'm not trudging through a battlefield right now but I've had many fights that I've walked away from heavily wounded. Hopefully the next one I will be ready for. I'm getting wiser and I'm learning how to handle things God's way. Unfortunately, mostly everything I have learned  has come from first hand experience instead of applying someone else's wisdom.  Once every few weeks I meet some sort of resistance like clockwork, but I'm getting better at dealing with the small things too. Again that comes from experience. I try and keep my heart free and clear of offense and I practice "waiting upon the Lord." Not easy to do but it's amazing to see Him move mountains.

Every morning one of the first things I do is read a devotional or two. I read Charles Stanley's In Touch, which is free, and there's also an app for Android and the Iphone, In Touch Ministries. People used to say to me, "You have to read your Word." I never understood that. Why? Well, it’s true. We don't wake up one day and suddenly know all there is to know about God and scripture. Some people talk about God like they've walked around heaven and taken pictures of Him. It can be creepy sometimes, so I'd rather find out for myself. If you ever hear or see me talk about God all crazy it’s because I experienced something true. Perhaps a new facet of His character or something amazing He's done in my life. Not only do I gain knowledge and understanding, but I can sense what He is saying and trying to show me in my life, and how to properly respond. It's actually more of an inner sensing and knowing of what He's up to. 

Without God life makes no sense. In the midst of chaos and distraction I can always find my peace and strength reading the Word. As long as I read the Word I'm moving forward, staying on course, and being refreshed. Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is alive and powerful." John 6:63 says, "The words that I speak unto you they are spirit and they are life." All of the earth is a living breathing organism, and we serve the Living God. We are spiritual beings, we have spirits, and our spirits are the very "life" within us. The Word strengthens, restores, and supply's our spirits with "life."

Reading and studying the word is essential to spiritual health. Little by little the Word will creep into your mind and start to break up that stuff that shouldn't be there. The light will creep in and begin to expose the darkness, and start to change your attitude. "And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not."The Word has the power to pull down strongholds, attitudes, and thought patterns that have been ingrained into our minds over time. Strongholds are powerful mental "locks" that allow you to only think and see a certain way. For example, you may only know one way of boiling an egg. That's the way you've been taught, so that's the only way you know how to do it whether it's the right way or not. What if you found out you had been doing it wrong all your life? Essentially, you believed a lie and now you're hearing the truth. Toss that around a bit...

Walking with God is a journey and there is much to learn, He's God and we are not. I want to encourage you to start reading a devotional everyday. It's a great way to get into the Bible, and build off of the seed you heard on Sunday. Find the time to set apart when it’s just you and Him. Tammy and I both have been guilty of getting distracted at times, and those are the times we usually aren't walking in True North. Christmas shopping, facebook, tv, and cell phones can suck us into a vortex of total distraction. I refuse to do that anymore. We're getting back to keeping our journals, and we're taking our devotional time more seriously.  We want the Word established in our hearts because from our hearts we journey through the day and live our life. For us, we have to get up earlier in the mornings. But whatever it takes, it's worth it because it sets the tone for the day and we know the Lord is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

True North is that place where I'm connected to the heart of God by His Word and a clear conscience. I'm burned out playing the game of "Who I want you to think I am." That's exhausting and fruitless. I'm not perfect but I strive for transparency and honesty, and when I'm walking in True North I'm the person God created me to be without putting forth any effort. You never know who is watching you, but I can guarentee you people are watching. As long as I stay connected to Him, (remain in the vine) my life and my sphere of influence imparts life to others, and I personally walk in peace and abundant blessing.

My son, if you accept my word and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 2

http://www.intouch.org/



Financial Fruit and Thanksgiving

I've just started this blog thanks to a good friend of mine. I do enjoy writing  it's an outlet for me, and I do it in hopes that I may be a blessing to someone as well. I don't write with that intention, I write to get my thoughts out. That being said, in two days Thanksgiving will be here! This year has flown by and it's been a wild ride. My life has changed so dramatically and I have so much to be thankful for.

Since it is the holiday season or shopping season, however you want to view it, I'm going to talk about something we all need… money. Now, I have never been good with money...ever. Somehow I would always run out of it before my bills were paid. Of course the utility companies, the landlord, and the bank didn't appreciate that to much and it was embarrassing. I believe at one point I got so discouraged about my credit history I just stopped caring about paying bills, so I didn't. Thank God all that has changed. My credit is still jacked up because of my destructive past, however it's on the way up, and I'm still able to have all my needs met and then some.

I know what it's like to have nothing and I know what it's like to have everything you want. I've lived on both sides of the fence. My turn around didn't come until I was laying flat on my face between the fences. Most people don't know this but I actually volunteered at a soup kitchen and that's were I got my meals 3 times a week. If I'm lying I'm dying. This was the beginning of my turnaround and it all started by being humble and being thankful for what I did have. I also started cultivating my relationship with God, which used to be only one way. I started tithing at least 10% of my income and I looked for ways to give away more. It is my small way of thanking Him for all of His provision, not just financially.

I'm not going to turn this into a sermon on tithing, I promise. I will say the 90% you have left will go a whole lot further than the 100% you choose to keep. That's just how it works. Since I was used to having nothing, and I mean nothing, I knew what I really needed. The more I tithed and the more I blessed those in need the more money I had in my bank account. I was able to buy a car paying cash this year, a nice one too. I'm not tooting my horn I'm just telling ya’ll the Lord is good. Some will dispute that, but every good and perfect gift comes from above. A few tips....

Tammy and I have about $400 left over a month give or take a little, after paying all our bills. Daycare, Groceries, Gas (2vehicles), Utilities, Rent, Insurance, and of course we tithe every week. Included in the $400 is anything extra we may need for our 3 children. If you didn't know children are very needy. We’ve started budgeting our money, and if you've tried it, try again. Mint.com is a free budgeting tool and in my opinion, the best one out. It can help you get your finances in order. DS Budget is another one. These are free tools and both are easy to use. You need to know where the money is going so you know where you can save. The only way money gets put in our savings account is if we have some left over from our budget. That's incentive to save every penny!

By God's grace and budgeting our money we are able to buy Christmas presents for all of our family members and use no credit card. I can't tell you how good this makes us feel. I've never been able to provide for myself, let a lone anyone else. With buying for ourselves it easy to forget others are in need too. Keep that in mind this season; make it a goal to give some sort of monetary gift to those in need. I used to think if I couldn't give $100, then I shouldn't give at all. What a lie that was. More people need to give what they can, not bill money, just the extra cash you may have. If we all step up and give a little somethin' somethin' it would go farther than the few who give much, and you will be blessed with an opportunity to know God used you to bless and provide for someone else. That to me is the best part.

This is no easy task but if you're like us you are solely responsible for your family. Tithing is more than giving money to a church. It teaches financial responsibility and when done with a thankful heart will pay dividends. It's in THE book, reaping and sowing. When Tammy and I give our tithe it's an act of worship and gratitude for all the Lord has done for us. Sometimes I go to church just so I can tithe! Not in hopes of getting a return, but because it's the only material gift that I can give to God. It's my way of saying THANK YOU LORD, for saving a wretch like me and keeping me and my family this past week. I can't name all the things that God has done for me nor could I give Him enough of anything to show my gratitude.

 Happy Thanksgiving!

"But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.