Men of Fire and Courage Pt. 2

I'm grateful and honored to introduce today's guest blogger. I asked several men about a month ago, to write a piece about being a man in today's society. I posed the original question, but also asked each of them to share something personal, as each brings a different perspective. This was no easy task, and finding the time to do this was and is a sacrifice. Again, I'm grateful and my hope is that the blog will  help cultivate some areas in our lives that will help us to become better fathers, husbands, and men. Sean's piece is a great introduction and really captures the thoughts I was trying to draw out of each of the guests. Without further adieu...Ladies and Gentlemen, this week's guest blogger is...Sean Merryman.

First things first, I am not a blogger. I am not adept at writing to the appeal of the masses. With that said, I hope you, the reader, are able to follow my rambling thoughts and take something from this. I am going a little out of my comfort zone in writing this, but figured what can it hurt? An old childhood friend asked for a favor after all these years, so here it goes. He wanted me to write a little aside on what I thought it meant to be a man, a man’s man even, in today’s society.  It’s not something I think often about, but it’s a simple enough idea. I think.

I think in the broader sense the idea of being a man is quite simple. Live your life in a way that would make those you care about proud. Do the things that are right and just in your heart. Work hard to provide the best life possible for your family. This last one is becoming increasingly more important to me as of late with the birth of my first child a short 6 days ago (at the time I sat typing this, obviously). To me, being a man is about being true to what you believe in. Different people will interpret that different ways, to some it will be about God. To others, it will simply mean living your life to a moral calling, be it religion or just wanting to be a decent human being for whatever reason. Unfortunately for society, not everyone is able to find something in life that makes them want to live up to a standard.

There are many things that my father’s generation, and especially my grandfather’s generation, would certainly question about MY manhood. I have absolutely no qualms about telling my newborn son I love him, no problems kissing him. I only hope these things don’t change as he gets older. I help my wife clean the house, cook, run errands, etc etc! Crazy, right? I don’t find these things emasculating or below me in the least.  I don’t think they make me less of a man. I find that my wife actually appreciates them, and in some weird exchange of token efforts, I end up feeling like more of a man when it’s all said and done (if you catch my adult drift). I am not the handiest of guys. In fact my father and brother usually end up taking over any home improvement project at my house, I end up being allowed to do nothing more than hand them tools, move ladders, go get lunch… you get the point. That one is a little rough, I will turn in a portion of my man card at this point, but only a small one.

In the short prompt Jason provided he alluded to his opinion that "In today’s society men have are encouraged to be lady like, mild, and politically correct. What happened to being a man?”. I see his point. I hadn’t considered it before, but I see his point. I am going to skip the cavemen and just go back a generation or 2, the things I mentioned earlier in this aside (blog if you must). As men, we have changed, we do things our fathers and grandfathers probably wouldn’t have willingly done. On the flip side, the women in our lives are doing things they wouldn’t have been doing either. Our wives are working, helping support our families, serving in the military, putting off childbirth and marriage to have a career (GASP!). Maybe, just maybe, are men and women both converging towards a middle ground for the sake of the entire family unit? Just a thought…

I think the quick and dirty gist of my rambling is that I don’t think you have to have a wind chapped face and calloused through hands to be a man. At the same time, I am not in favor  of being a pampered prima donna of a man getting manicures, plastic surgery, and whatever else you “metro-sexual” gentlemen do (I would prefer you actually say Quote/Unquote there, that’s the vibe I was going for). I don’t think the measure of being a man is necessarily tied to the principles that society associate with the term manhood. You don’t have to be a lumberjack, use saw dust for after shave, and certainly don’t need to impregnate X number of women to be a man and prove your manhood. I think the situations of every male’s life differ, and all of us are afforded the opportunity to be a man in various ways.  For some it’s stepping up and defending our country in battle, others make a difference by volunteering and doing charitable work, some simply work to provide a good life for their families, others actually are lumberjacks. In all cases if they are doing right by themselves and their families, they are men in my eyes. 

Sean is a brand new Daddy!

Be sure to check out the blog next week, as we continue this discussion, with another guest blogger.